afterTHOT: I Forgot My Jockstrap

So I’m finally conquering my feels and getting around to writing my first afterTHOT post. As I mentioned previously, these will be smaller posts about my experiences within the dating realm.

The first THOT Ima talk about is myself.  Early in mine and The Scientist’s “relationship,” I spent a glorious night at his place and the next day I actually got ready for work at his apartment.  So I jumped in the shower and he gave me a toothbrush.  A toothbrush, ya’ll!  That I left at his place!  This meant he wanted me to come back more often, right?!  So I’m totally not ashamed to wear the same pair of underwear two days in a row, but he was like, no borrow mine.  I’ll admit that weirded me out a bit, but it also kinda turned me on!  How could I resist borrowing a clean pair of undies from the cutest boy ever!  Well, in the midst of packing up my stuff and getting ready, I forgot my blue jockstrap (one of my fave pairs of undies) on his living room floor where I’d tossed them the night before in a throe of passion.

Later that day The Scientist’s Judies (as he refers to his friends like an old queen) came over and were chatting on his couch when he noticed my jockstrap on his shag rug.  He quickly hid it under the couch with a sweep of his foot.  And he almost got away with it too until one of his friends decided to lounge on the floor and happened to peak under the couch and recognize a pair of underwear that was not his style!  Of course they gave him a hard time for letting a trollop he barely knew walk out in his underwear.  But that’s the life of someone Independent Single and Free!

The Scientryst Pt. 2: Secret Lovers

So the first time The Scientist and I went out together in public was almost a week after meeting.  He charmingly asked me to take him for drinks via text while I was at my Associate Board Gala which was a ticketed event.  Ironically, though, we did have a free after party up the street for which I had several drink vouchers.  So I convinced him to get dressed, hop in a Lyft, and come downtown to meet me.  This is a lot for him since he’s a homebody (at least in the winter which is normal in the Windy City).  But it just so happened to be a beautiful spring day in November in Chicago!  He met some of the people on my Associate Board, all of whom are more of acquaintances rather than friends.  And the couple we ended up hanging with for the majority of the night were new to the board, so I didn’t yet know them at all.  So we still never met each other’s friends.  In fact, I did do a little bit of some online stalking and creeped his Facebook page.  We had one mutual friend–also an acquaintance for both of us.  So really no chance of our paths crossing if we decided to never see each other again.

In the Lyft ride home, after several drinks, we made out a little and this is where I confessed for the first time that my “horrible roommate situation” was really me living with The Ex, which he had pretty much deducted on his own.  This, I think, was thFile_001e first time I stayed the night at his place.  Thankfully he lived a few blocks away from my apartment, so I could easily get up and get ready for work the next morning.  Eventually he gave me a toothbrush to keep at his place since I was staying the night so frequently. That kind of freaked me out because to me that meant we could’ve been becoming serious–and I wasn’t ready for that!

As time passed, I couldn’t get him off my mind, though. While visiting friends in NYC for Thanksgiving, one of them noticed that my “face would just light up” every time my secret lover would text me.  I of course tried to deny it, and then gave into peer pressure to show them a picture of the new lovah. I didn’t want to show them a picture because that would make it too real. Or it could jinx us! But they were right.  I couldn’t wait to get my daily texts from The Scientist.  I couldn’t wait to see him.  I tried to not be too clingy and ask myself over, but I would get so excited every time he would invite me!

You’ll have to come back next week to learn more about our nights together.

The Scientryst Pt. 1: The Intro

I started writing about The Scientist a few months back, but as I mentioned in my last post, I’ve been too much in my feels to finish.  I was going to ask for advice from you about this boy, but that time has passed.  Now allow me to just reflect upon the situation in 4 parts…

I met The Scientist online back in November while I was at the ribbon cutting ceremony for the new streetscape on Argyle Street.  I’d mentioned that I had just had lunch and suggestively said that I was looking for dessert, which apparently made hibeakerm chuckle while he was grocery shopping.  So I stopped by when he got home and we instantly connected.  He was so sexy with his long, beautiful, kempt dreadlocks that felt so amazing as they’d fall all over my naked body.  I would soon find out that he was classy, and stylish. And smart!  I mean, he grows alternative fuels and shit from fungus or something!  Like wow!  He was worldly and traveled.  He was sex positive yet modest which was an adorable juxtaposition.  He was so sweet and cute.  And those lips, though!

As the weeks went on everything was perfect.  We were secret lovers.  No one knew about our tryst until a few weeks had passed.  Then we still didn’t connect on social media nor did we meet each other’s friends.  But it wasn’t like a dirty little secret, it was a sexy little secret that only we shared.  He was giving me everything I’d wanted for years!  He’d run his fingers through my hair, which The Ex never did over the 12 years we were together.  We’d cuddle in our underwear as we’d Netflix & Chill.  He loved period shows and documentaries!  How cultured and intelligent!  We were instantly so intimate and connected that we didn’t even have to have sex every time I was over there.  I even started staying the night 2-3 times a week!  And I was totally upfront about living with The Ex and how I wasn’t looking for anything serious, though I could’ve easily fallen for him (that part I kept to myself until a few months had passed).  He said he wasn’t looking for anything in particular either.  We were just having fun and living in the moment.  It was my first time really living in the moment in a long time.

We exchanged numbers, and we texted everyday!  Though, in retrospect, I was usually the one to initiate conversation.  And I always responded way too quickly every time, so I needed to play it cool and I joked that from now on I’d have to wait an hour before responding.  He taught me how to use the energy saver on my iPhone.  He taught me that the PH levels in our bodies are always changing which could explain my recent dandruff that I’d NEVER had before.  He always said I was extra and dramatic, to which I responded that I preferred the term “histrionic”!  He also called me a hoe because I was open about my sex life (though I was quickly considering giving up all my lovers, even though I knew I couldn’t commit at the moment).  I know he was only joking, but I told him he needed to stop calling me a hoe, and we settled on a friendlier and yet still funny term “trollop”.

Things couldn’t have been more perfect.  Though, sometimes I wondered if I was staying over at his place because I liked him and wanted to, or because I was avoiding being home with The Ex.  I concluded that it was probably a little bit of both, but I definitely liked him!

Stay tuned next week to learn how the relationship (I use that term by its literal definition) progressed.