Claiming Independence 

I’m not really a superstitious person, but I do believe that the way you ring in your new year is the way that you spend the rest of it. For example, on NYE 2015 (the night before 2016, just to be clear) I was in the ER with an inflamed colon (excruciating pain while shitting liquid blood!). Then I was in the ER three more times with kidney stones over the course of 2016 (also excruciating pain while pissing liquid blood!). On every occasion, I was alone. Granted, The Ex and I were technically over at that point. But seriously? He couldn’t come with me to the hospital? After 12 years together? Instead he wanted to antagonize me and go back to sleep.

As I writhed on the floor in pain from the stabbing rock in my back The Ex told me to “get it together.” In that moment I was convinced that they’d dedicate an episode of Snapped to me! (Is that show still on?)

So when NYE rolled around this time, I decided I needed to experience an exciting night: On. My. Own. I love taking myself out on dates, but I is it weird to go out on such  major holiday by myself?! In the end I decided to give zero fucks! I had a great night going solo! Solo YOLO if you will. It was my unofficial announcement to the world that I am single and free! I wore glitter beard and matching sparkly shoes along with a mesh jacket and a mesh tank top I’d recently purchased for too much money in NYC.


I didn’t have any plans up until the day of. I knew I didn’t want to go to the straight bar with my friends, especially not for $75! So I researched the best deal on the Boystown strip and found that Progress Bar gave you the most bang for your buck! Including a bottle of champagne if you returned the next day. And of course I fucking came and got that bottle. I made sure I wasn’t too hung over to get what I paid for, bitches!

So that night, just as I always do, I met some cool people at the bar and danced the night away! I was just naughty enough, like the Vegas commercials, and made out with this boy I’d previously chatted to online. Poor thing’s face was covered in glitter and I couldn’t wipe it off. Anyone who was even partly sober could’ve easily devised that we had locked lips. Then later on I met up with my Mexican friends at the Latino gay bar up the street. And then I was home by 2am at the latest, slept in, and then caught brunch with my friend who then went with me to get that free bottle of champagne.

Let the single life officially begin!


A Birthday Resolution

I started Chit Chat Jonny a few years ago to record and track my progress on a New Year’s resolution. Once the year was over, I focused my attention on other projects. I’ve returned this year to track the progress of a Birthday Resolution I made earlier this week. I challenged myself to only drink 31 days during my 31st year in this life. So from December 9, 2014 to December 9, 2015, I will only allow myself 31 days to drink. So if I pick up a glass of wine for dinner, that’s one of my days. If I go out to the club at 10 o’clock at night and stay out drinking past midnight, I’ve rolled over into two days.

All of my friends think I’m crazy or that I’ll only end up binge drinking on those days. But I’ve already cut back a lot over the past couple of years because of my acid reflux, so I think I can do it. I feel as if this will be an exciting and healthy challenge. One step closer to a better lifestyle. And this blog will help me reflect upon my progress. I’ll record before, after and maybe even during my 31 Days.

I told my friend Morgan about it and she really liked the idea, so she has agreed to do it with me! But she gets 32 days until December 9, 2015 because she’s 32 years of age. I’m holding her accountable because we shook on it!

So my first night of drinking was of course at Beauty Bar Chicago for my birthday celebration, and the next morning at work I felt dehydrated and sluggish. My acid made it difficult to eat anything but if I don’t eat breakfast I get hangry. And I had maybe 4 drinks the night before. So already this is proving to be worth it because of the hope to feel healthier.

But then of course we had a celebration at work for our new board members the very next day and the wine was flowing and so tempting! And FREE! How do you say no to that? With extreme difficulty, but I did it!

Will I be able to spread out the remaining 30 days appropriately? We shall see!