Yes, I’m a little further behind than usual because I was travelling and then there was the 4th of July holiday, and then I was also just living my best life at the beach and with friends. We Chicagoans only get a few months of outdoor weather, so we have to take advantage. I’ve got some REALLY special people in this next batch of letters. And I wouldn’t be where I am today without them. That’s what’s really empowering about this project–it allows me to reflect upon the things that have made me who I am today. I totally encourage you to write a letter to someone or something that inspires you. Maybe not 365 letters, but I think that you can really learn a lot about yourself when you thank others for their contributions to your life.
Well, May 9 was the official halfway mark for my resolution, thus June starts the last half of the year. As you can imagine, it’s getting harder to randomly draw a number that hasn’t already been drawn before (because if you’ll recall, I actually use a random number generator online rather than actually pulling remaining names from a hat).
So that does take a little extra time each morning when I have to “draw” a new number two, three times in a row. And sometimes that takes even more time because there’s no WiFi on the train, and I’m usually outta data so I’m constantly getting yelled at by my dad because we’re on a plan together. Ha! But it’s a time well spent because it’s something I’m dedicated to. Although I suppose I could re-sort the spreadsheet in a way that could make it easier? I’d have to think a little harder about that. Ha!
June 3, 2019
Sometimes I think the inspiration that I draw each day is not in fact random but chosen by the universe for particular reasons. On occasion I think it’s because specific people need to hear from me or hear about the good they do in this world. People deserve to know how they’ve impacted someone else in life. For example, I drew a friend who had recently had surgery and she needed some encouragement, but I obviously didn’t pick her on purpose. Ironically, though, I don’t think I’ve drawn anyone on their birthday yet. Sometimes, however, I believe the universe chooses certain inspirations because I need to express particular feelings on those particular days.
You know, it’s kind of sad after drawing some of my favorite inspirations because I know that I won’t pull them again. The magic of not knowing is gone. The excitement of writing to something so special to me is now over. But perhaps that just means I write something else because of that inspiration. Maybe that inspiration will inspire a new project or a stronger connection to that inspiration.
This is a pic of my fave tree in Chicago! I wrote a letter to it in this batch of inspirations!
Well…this round of letters includes dedications to two people who have impacted my life immensely: The Scientist and my sister. This is part of the reason this batch has taken me so long. I’ve been equally excited and nervous to write these letters, and I wanted to do them justice.
It’s ironic that I drew The Scientist on the day that I did because I’m pretty sure it’s the anniversary of (or close to) the date that I sent him flowers as an apology. He will never know how sorry I am and how much he’s truly inspired me to be a better person. Writing “to” him reopens those wounds of heartbreak, but I can’t deny the fact that he has influenced my life in a variety of ways. I want to tell him a thousand times that I’m sorry. But that’s not what any of these letters are for. This letter is to thank him for his inspiration, so that’s how I’ll keep it. Besides, I’m not actually sending him the letter anyway; I promised him I wouldn’t bother him again. So it’s up to the universe if he ever sees these words.
As for my sister, I will love her so deeply until the end of time. But love rarely comes without heartbreak and it’s not like we haven’t hurt each other. But I don’t think I can ever describe the power of her inspiration on me in a few words. But I shall try…
Sometimes I write longer letters than other days. Each inspiration gives me something different, that’s why. But some days it’s also the mood that I’m in. Some days my brain just isn’t working as effectively. I hate when I forget to mention something really important about one of my inspirations and then I remember it a few days later. That’s why inspiration is so neat. It’s fluid.
For example, in my letter to The Ex, I forgot to mention his amazing cooking skills. But just the fact that I express my gratitude should get the message across that he is an inspiration.
Do I have enough inspirations for an entire year? Yes, and then some! It was hard to come up with my list because I didn’t want to leave out the biggest influencers in my life. I created the list in advance, however, I wanted to leave some days blank so that I could write about new inspirations that pop up during the year. I find inspiration in something new everyday. But I don’t have time to write a bajillion letters! In fact, I’ve already had to go through and combine some inspirations. For example, both Don Lemon and Anderson Cooper inspire me, but I chose to write a joint letter to them as gay news anchors. That actually allowed me to open it up to more inspirations such as Robin Roberts as well!
This year’s resolution came about while working on my most recent birthday show where I wrote duets with my friends. My 2017 show was all about my path to independence; for my 2018 show I wanted to honor the people who helped me get there. And so I wanted to continue this theme of gratitude throughout the year with my Birthday Resolution and write letters to the folx who’ve made a difference in my life. Since there are so many influencers in my life, it only made sense to write a letter everyday this year! And believe it or not, that’s not enough days to express thanks to all my inspirations!