Cold and Cordial

So last night went exactly as I was predicting. The Scientist was cordial and said hi and even gave me an awkward hug to greet me. But he didn’t really talk to me nor did he even look my way. He hates me. And I did that. 😔😔 So now I must live with the consequences. He was on his phone all the time and uninterested. I don’t know if that’s how he is in group settings or if he just didn’t wanna be around me. And then he left after the escape room (in which we died 🤣🤣). He was going to meet another friend. Prolly the person he was texting all night. I for real scared him off white boys and also “proved him right” about all of us. 

And just as expected, I’m heartbroken all over again. I will survive, but it’s gonna hurt for a while after reopening the wound. 

afterTHOT: Can I Escape

Ok. Don’t hate me. I know I promised to not bring up The Scientist again. But it’s only appropriate for this week’s afterTHOT to talk about him. Such ironic timing. Once I realized Red Flamingo was becoming friends with him, I realized there’s a possibility that he could be invited to Red Flamingo’s birthday party this month. Sho nuff. Red Flamingo invited him to his bday (and of course I secretly really wanna see him). He did ask me first if that was okay which is sweet, but I told him this is his bday and he should invite whom he wants. I think The Scientist is a great guy, so he should be friends wit him. And I know Red Flamingo is searching for more black friends. I get that. We all want to be with people of our own kind. And I respect that. But at first Red Flamingo didn’t want to tell The Scientist that we knew each other, but I told him it’s not fair if I know he’s coming and he doesn’t know I’m coming. What’s worse is Red Flamingo wants to do one of those zombie, team-building escape rooms. Wtf‼️‼️ You not only want us to both come to your party, but you wanna lock us both in a confined room together for an hour⁉️⁉️ But I finally convinced Red Flamingo to tell The Scientist that I’ll be there. The Scientist said ok and agreed to come. So he obvi don’t hate me so much he won’t show. But the situation (and my mind) is fucked up‼️ Who gets into these situations⁉️ So now I have a week to stress and anticipate every scenario in the book‼️

afterTHOT: Can I Escape

Ok. Don’t hate me. I know I promised to not bring up The Scientist again. But it’s only appropriate for this week’s afterTHOT to talk about him. Such ironic timing. Once I realized Red Flamingo was becoming friends with him, I realized there’s a possibility that he could be invited to Red Flamingo’s birthday party this month. Sho nuff. Red Flamingo invited him to his bday (and of course I secretly really wanna see him). He did ask me first if that was okay which is sweet, but I told him this is his bday and he should invite who he wants. I think The Scientist is a great guy, so he should be friends wit him. And I know Red Flamingo is searching for more black friends. I get that. We all want to be with people of our own kind. And I respect that. But at first Red Flamingo didn’t want to tell The Scientist that we knew each other, but I told him it’s not fair if I know he’s coming and he doesn’t know I’m coming. What’s worse is Red Flamingo wants to do one of those zombie, team-building escape rooms. Wtf‼️‼️ You not only want us to both come to your party, but you wanna lock us both in a confined room together for an hour⁉️⁉️ But I finally convinced Red Flamingo to tell The Scientist that I’ll be there. The Scientist said ok and agreed to come. So he obvi don’t hate me so much he won’t show. But the situation (and my mind) is fucked up‼️ Who gets into these situations⁉️ So now I have a week to stress and anticipate every scenario in the book‼️