Well I’ve done it again. I’ve just ignored my dates the past two months. Its not that I haven’t treated myself. Believe me I have. I just haven’t taken the time to plan out a date with myself. I know that in May, I at least woke up one Saturday morning and thought to myself “if ain’t nobody around today, Ima do brunch around the corner and have bottomless bloodies and mimosas by myself. It’ll be my date for May.”
And so that was my date as I sat at the bar and chatted with folks around me and with the bartender who also happened to be a philosopher.
However, I did just get back from a pseudo-planned solo trip to Cali for this month! It’s a mega-date with myself. I’ve always wanted to take a solo trip, even when I was with The Ex. And now I’m finally doing it. I’ve traveled alone to go meet people before, but this was a trip just for me. I didn’t meet up with anyone. I didn’t set any plans in stone. All I knew upfront was that I wanted to speed by some of the landmarks and focus on just exploring LA and San Fran. That’s right! I’ve always wanted to visit both places. I have preconceived notions about each city, but I had to make up my own mind through my own experience. I was nervous that I might not be as extroverted as usual and I’d be too shy to meet new people. But right off the jump I was already meeting people on the plane and riding the shuttle into the city together. I talk led to locals and dove bar bartenders for recommendations and did some of their suggestions. But in the end I mostly relaxed and walked within a 5 block radius of my room. I stayed in the gayborhood in both LA and SF. And drove up part of the PCH to view the scenic route. I could barely afford anything. And at first I got mad at myself for not exploring more, but I did explore and relaxed and found inner peace and tranquility. I learned a lot about myself which is for me and no one else.
February was another month I was extremely busy with planning an event for over 700 guests, so finding time for myself was not easy. I planned to go see Black Panther and take myself to dinner, but then I decided to take The Ex to the movie on his birthday instead. He did take me out for a $100 sushi dinner for mine, so it seemed right. I know a lot of you might think I was headed down a very dangerous path by taking him out after all the things I wrote about him doing last year. But it’s hard to let go of 12 years together. But I am cautious enough to keep him at arm’s length.
I did go out almost every night in February. So I definitely treated myself, but I’m trying to make a conscious effort of planning one night to spoil myself. I’ll make a stronger effort next month.
I’m not really a superstitious person, but I do believe that the way you ring in your new year is the way that you spend the rest of it. For example, on NYE 2015 (the night before 2016, just to be clear) I was in the ER with an inflamed colon (excruciating pain while shitting liquid blood!). Then I was in the ER three more times with kidney stones over the course of 2016 (also excruciating pain while pissing liquid blood!). On every occasion, I was alone. Granted, The Ex and I were technically over at that point. But seriously? He couldn’t come with me to the hospital? After 12 years together? Instead he wanted to antagonize me and go back to sleep.
As I writhed on the floor in pain from the stabbing rock in my back The Ex told me to “get it together.” In that moment I was convinced that they’d dedicate an episode of Snapped to me! (Is that show still on?)
So when NYE rolled around this time, I decided I needed to experience an exciting night: On. My. Own. I love taking myself out on dates, but I is it weird to go out on such major holiday by myself?! In the end I decided to give zero fucks! I had a great night going solo! Solo YOLO if you will. It was my unofficial announcement to the world that I am single and free! I wore glitter beard and matching sparkly shoes along with a mesh jacket and a mesh tank top I’d recently purchased for too much money in NYC.
I didn’t have any plans up until the day of. I knew I didn’t want to go to the straight bar with my friends, especially not for $75! So I researched the best deal on the Boystown strip and found that Progress Bar gave you the most bang for your buck! Including a bottle of champagne if you returned the next day. And of course I fucking came and got that bottle. I made sure I wasn’t too hung over to get what I paid for, bitches!
So that night, just as I always do, I met some cool people at the bar and danced the night away! I was just naughty enough, like the Vegas commercials, and made out with this boy I’d previously chatted to online. Poor thing’s face was covered in glitter and I couldn’t wipe it off. Anyone who was even partly sober could’ve easily devised that we had locked lips. Then later on I met up with my Mexican friends at the Latino gay bar up the street. And then I was home by 2am at the latest, slept in, and then caught brunch with my friend who then went with me to get that free bottle of champagne.
I am still slightly behind on my drinking days because I had a small cheat day the other night. It was March 6, 2015 and I had just finished serving dinner at The Crib which is an overnight shelter with The Night Ministry for youth experiencing homelessness in Chicago. It was such a good day overall for countless reasons. And then I met up with friends afterward that I hadn’t seen in a while. So I had cause to celebrate, but I knew I’d want to have drinks with friends the next day, so I tried to hold off until midnight, but I decided to have a single drink at 11:00pm. So I almost made it until the next day, so I’m just going to consider it a cheat day instead of a full day. I’ll count it as a full day if I have plenty left over at the end of my year. And then I had another drinking day on March 15th. This is definitely a challenge, but I don’t find myself craving alcohol like I used to.
February 9 will officially make the two-month mark for Birthday Resolution, and I’m definitely going over my allotted days. I’ve had eight drinks so far which breaks down to four a month! I’m only supposed to have 2.5 days, which means some months at three days and some months at two. But I don’t feel like I’m behind. I’m learning that I don’t need the booze. I’m feeling better and more energized, I’d say. My acid is definitely not bothering me as much as it was. Now if only I could cut out those fried foods next. That’s really the only things I’ve noticed that contributes to it lately. No matter the current outcome, I’m still benefiting from this Birthday Resolution.
So I’ve found that while doing this challenge, many people want to peer pressure me into drinking, but I’ve been holding strong! Why do people want to bring me down?! It’s definitely a societal expectation to drink. No wonder it’s so hard for an alcoholic to quit! This challenge is definitely opening up my eyes!
I did have drinks on Friday for my friend’s Super 30th Birthday Party. It was superhero themed and we all dressed up! I have loved costume parties since college, but no one does them outside of Halloween except for theatre geeks. I was Clark Kent because that was the most cost effective way to go all out with my costume during this holiday/birthday season.
Of course I’m going to have some drinks when we have guests over for Christmas dinner tomorrow. I hope I don’t overdo it since we’ll be day-drinking. But in all actuality, I’ll most likely start drinking at midnight! I have kind of been craving my favorite drink this week–The Shady Tea (bourbon and Sprite). No tea, no shade!
I’ll keep you posted on Boxing Day (the day after Christmas) about how I feel post-holiday-celebration. Until then, have a happy and safe holiday!
So I’ve been tempted everyday this first week of my Birthday Resolution! The holidays are extra hard because of all of the office parties and such. Today we had our holiday lunch at work and how could I deny a better selection of wine than I would pay for myself?! But the one glass of wine that I had has already put me to sleep. I feel like I need to brush my teeth. I love a decent wine, but this challenge has also already helped me really pay attention to my alchohol intake and how it effects me.
But I did resist temptation this past weekend when my boyfriend and I went to the bar. I had him order me a bottled water. I felt so proud. But then the temptation hit again once we got home because he bought a bottle of bourbon (my drink of choice). I still said no. But this weekend I have a birthday party to go to and then next week is Christmas dinner and the week after is New Year’s Eve! What shall I do? Thirty-one days breaks down to 2.5 days a month. So I only get a few months with three days and the rest I get only two! And my friend Morgan has already had four days!
I’ll keep you up on my progress as the holidays come to a close.