The Scientryst Pt. 3: Non-Dates

So besides the comfortable, intimate nights we’d have at his place, The Scientist and I were going on impromptu outings, and he was learning some of my darkest secrets (though, in retrospect, he didn’t quite share as many details about his life as I did). He was also asking a lot of questions about The Ex which kinda weirded me out, but I couldn’t help but bring him up in conversation considering he was a part of my entire adult life up until now.

Our next night out after the Associate Board Gala was after work when I was on my way home from running errands. I was hungry and wanted a drink with dinner, so I texted The Scientist and invited him out with me. I was super excited to see him, but his homebodiness was taking over and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to go out. So I told him he had two train stops to make up his mind. But he said drinks are his weakness (more specifically gin, which I read on social media means you have psychotic tendencies), and he told me to meet him at his place so he could finish getting ready.

He answered the door in his underwear as he usually did with his long beautiful hair all swept up in a bun.  He finished getting ready, and I grabbed my bag and we headed out.  We ate some delicious sliders and had a couple drinks and when it came time to pay, he got out his wallet to split the bill as we’d done the time before.  I told him it was on me because I’d inviteIMG_8050d him out.  Then I quickly followed up by telling him that this was not a date because I wasn’t ready for a date with anyone.  He understood and suggested that we get another drink on him.  So we headed to the new arcade bar next door and sipped on some cocktails before heading to the back of the bar to play games.

Once in the back, he asked me if I’d ever played Killer Queen to which I responded no.  It’s a group game with two teams.  Ironically, 5 seconds later, these random people asked us if we wanted to play.  The next thing we knew, we were playing this game with a dozen strangers and having a blast!  I didn’t even know there were that many people in this bar at the time!  And one girl on our team actually recognized me.  It took us a minute, but then we figured out that she was an intern under The Ex.  *side eye

We had a great time, even though some guy from the other team came to help us win and hated that we lost every time.  We literally only won like twice out of 10 games.  But none of us cared.  We were only having fun.  The Scientist was so much fun and so laid back.  Then when it was time to leave, I told him I just had to grab my bag.  He then proceeded to ask me why I even brought it with me as if to say, “aren’t you spending the night?”  And of course this thrilled me.  And then we went back to his place and made love and chilled as I played with his hair and he told me to “get out his kitchen.”  A term I heard for the first time with him.  Yes, my chosen family is mostly comprised of black folks, but that don’t mean I know everything about black culture.  Hell, I don’t know everything about gay culture.  Or British culture (my dad is a Brit).  While lying there, I also admired his numerous tattoos.  In fact, during our 3 month tenure, he got a huge new tattoo outlined on his stomach.  It was a portrait that I’d jokingly make out with.  He thought I was so extra!  Or, as I’ve stated before, I prefer the term histrionic!

I was so excited to see the progress of this tattoo as the weeks would go on.  But the Scientryst would soon come to an explosive end, and I didn’t even see it coming…

Freedom Isn’t Free

For the first time in 33 years, I’m about to be completely on my own. It’s such an exciting time in my life. I think it’s something I’ve always wanted, yet I’m scared outta my fucking mind! Adulting with another adult is hard enough! How the hell do I do it by myself? Perhaps it’ll be easier because I’m not responsible for anyone else. But that seems a selfish way of thinking after a very, very LTR!

The Ex and I pretty much started our relationship on the day we met…which will be 12 years ago this month. However, I have no idea on which day our relationship ended. I suppose the last official day will be April 30, 2017 when our lease is up.  Yes, you read that correctly. I am living in a shitty, broke down, roach-infested box…With. The. Ex! I have deemed this studio apartment the Pigeon Hole. The view out the only window is a brick wall of the neighboring residence which forms a nasty little alcove with the brick wall of my residence. In this alcove, pigeons like to coo. Pigeons like to shit. Pigeons like to fuck. And they’re noisy fuckers.

So how the hell did I get conned into moving into a crappy, confined Pigeon Hole with The Ex?  Because you don’t just throw away 11 years (at that time), right? He’d provided for me. And now he was out of a job for the first time ever. But I was just starting my first full time job; I couldn’t support us both living in the one bedroom that we’d been in for 7 years.  And so we were kicked out and forced to find the Pigeon Hole. 

So why did it end after more than a decade? That’s an answer I have to be careful in formulating over the course of the coming weeks. I don’t want to be unfair to The Ex. We may despise each other now, but I have respect for him still. However, I promised myself I’d be honest to the 5 people reading this and to myself. So how did it end? Essentially the answer may be that we were doomed from the start like some Shakespeare shit…