afterTHOT: The Ex’s New Boo

I had to go over to The Ex’s to tie up some loose ends the other day.  While there, I had a cocktail and caught up with him and his friend.  Then he walked me to the bus stop so that he could vent a little about this friend.  Apparently this friend was betraying his trust and sneaking to read his text messages.  I was totally confused as to why this friend would be all up in his bitnass like that.

Me: There’s no reason for him to be in your personal stuff like that.  (as we continued down the block, I stopped, stepped back, and threw my hands up).  Unless he’s your new boyfriend.

The Ex:  Well he’s not over at my place helping me clean for no reason.  But we’re not there yet.

Okay, now he’s being honest and open.  Okay, this is a good thing, as I don’t want to lose him entirely.  We spent our entire adult lives together thus far.  

Me:  Oh ok.  Well, he still don’t needa be prying like that.  We were together almost 12yrs and I still never invaded your privacy.  Well, not until the very end because you was lyin’.  We not gonna get into that right now, but you know you was lyin’.

Then we both laughed.  He didn’t deny that he was runnin’ around behind my back actin’ brand new.  He opened up to me.  He admitted his betrayal.  

So then on Monday I performed one of my stories from my personal repertoire at a weekly event.  I was booked last minute so I didn’t really invite anyone to come.  Then The Ex called me on the day of the show.  When he found out I was performing, he promised to come.  Well, I gave up on his promises long ago, yet he actually did show up. I was the first to go on, and he literally left right after my performance.  So he was there just to support me.  That’s sweet.  He also convinced TENB (The Ex’s New Boo) to come watch as well, but he was late arriving so he missed my performance and missed The Ex.  So The Ex text me after he’d left to ask me to keep an eye out for him since his phone died and he wasn’t able to let him know that he’d left.  What the fuck!  How did I end up chatting over a drink at the bar with TENB?!  ONLY IN MY LIFE!  But I’m glad The Ex and I can move forward peacefully and with love.

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Claiming Independence 

I’m not really a superstitious person, but I do believe that the way you ring in your new year is the way that you spend the rest of it. For example, on NYE 2015 (the night before 2016, just to be clear) I was in the ER with an inflamed colon (excruciating pain while shitting liquid blood!). Then I was in the ER three more times with kidney stones over the course of 2016 (also excruciating pain while pissing liquid blood!). On every occasion, I was alone. Granted, The Ex and I were technically over at that point. But seriously? He couldn’t come with me to the hospital? After 12 years together? Instead he wanted to antagonize me and go back to sleep.

As I writhed on the floor in pain from the stabbing rock in my back The Ex told me to “get it together.” In that moment I was convinced that they’d dedicate an episode of Snapped to me! (Is that show still on?)

So when NYE rolled around this time, I decided I needed to experience an exciting night: On. My. Own. I love taking myself out on dates, but I is it weird to go out on such  major holiday by myself?! In the end I decided to give zero fucks! I had a great night going solo! Solo YOLO if you will. It was my unofficial announcement to the world that I am single and free! I wore glitter beard and matching sparkly shoes along with a mesh jacket and a mesh tank top I’d recently purchased for too much money in NYC.

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I didn’t have any plans up until the day of. I knew I didn’t want to go to the straight bar with my friends, especially not for $75! So I researched the best deal on the Boystown strip and found that Progress Bar gave you the most bang for your buck! Including a bottle of champagne if you returned the next day. And of course I fucking came and got that bottle. I made sure I wasn’t too hung over to get what I paid for, bitches!

So that night, just as I always do, I met some cool people at the bar and danced the night away! I was just naughty enough, like the Vegas commercials, and made out with this boy I’d previously chatted to online. Poor thing’s face was covered in glitter and I couldn’t wipe it off. Anyone who was even partly sober could’ve easily devised that we had locked lips. Then later on I met up with my Mexican friends at the Latino gay bar up the street. And then I was home by 2am at the latest, slept in, and then caught brunch with my friend who then went with me to get that free bottle of champagne.

Let the single life officially begin!