About chitchatjonny

Daddy is British. Mommy is hillbilly. I grew up in redneck country. I'm a gay divorcee. I'm at a crossroads, and I make mistakes. The arts are my soul. I think that covers it.

Everlasting Love

So I took an extra day this week to write my letters. One in particular demanded more time and focus as it was dedicated to The Ex. I wanted to make sure his letter was full. But it’s difficult to put into words the emotions, feelings, and power that he bestowed upon me. There’s no one in this world that has had an impact on my life like he had. We may no longer be boyfriends, but his influence on my life is so grand and everlasting. And that can never be taken away.

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Stay Positive

When writing my letters of inspiration, I try to keep them each positive. I say this because I find myself wanting to make statements such as “you did this despite that.” But I’m not trying to point out the faults of my inspirations. On the other side of things, I also know that I can’t put any idol too high on a pedestal. But these letters are meant to thank my inspirations not pick them apart. I am who I am because of them, even if they made mistakes in the past. Sometimes I even find myself wanting to apologize to them as well. But the purpose of this Bday Resolution isn’t to bring up the dark parts of our pasts together. It’s to uplift the good they’ve done for me. I’m so grateful for all of my inspirations because of where they’ve brought me to today.

Priorities

Sooo…this week has been especially challenging due to personal matters. I was laid off effective immediately as the entire organization I worked for shut down. Though I saw the signs, I thought I had a little more time. So obvi my focus has primarily been on that and getting my life in order.

I have still been working on my letters, though, because they are important to me. I’m just behind on posting them. I guess I’ll have plenty of time now! Ha!

I’ve found that a good process for me is to work on the letters daily and then post them once a week. This week I’ll just be posting letters from the past two weeks.

Finding the Words for Inspiration

One the challenges when writing my inspiration letters has been finding diverse language to use. It’s hard to find a lot of different words for thanking someone. I don’t want to sound redundant but there’s not a lot of synonyms for “thank you” or “inspiration” or “admire”. I want the language to reflect how unique each inspiration is!

Also, I’m still tryna figure out how to post each letter without being overwhelming, so any suggestions would be nice!

Inspiration for Days

My 35th Birthday Resolution is to write a letter each day to a different person or thing that inspires me. I do work on these letters every day, but I don’t always get the chance to post them everyday. That’s okay since these letters aren’t for the public necessarily, they’re for me and for the ones to whom I write. However, I do also love posting my letters on social media because I love sharing my inspirations with you all. They deserve to be known, and they might inspire you too! Maybe they won’t. But their contributions to my life and the world should be known. It’s amazing what a small spark can do for inspiration. Now I just gotta figure out the best way to share the letters on here without posting too often or posts that are too long. Hmm…

December Date

Well…I wasn’t quite so successful at planning out dates for myself on a monthly basis this year. I did, however, take myself out by myself on occasion, but usually impromptu and for only a nightcap. Which is one of my fave things to do at this cute local cocktail bar.

I also went out quite often with friends, both on planned and impromptu outings. I realize that’s exactly what I needed. I wanted to celebrate life with loved ones. My chosen family. Last year was all about my path to independence and this year was all about spending time with the ones who helped me get where I am today. And my annual birthday shows reflected that the past two years respectively.

My favorite part of the night of my birthday show was making everyone feel like royalty, literally, and watching everyone find the perfect crown just for them!

As for my 35th Birthday Resolution, I’m going to write a letter each day to a different person, place or thing that has inspired me in some way throughout my lifetime.

April, May, June

Well I’ve done it again. I’ve just ignored my dates the past two months. Its not that I haven’t treated myself. Believe me I have. I just haven’t taken the time to plan out a date with myself. I know that in May, I at least woke up one Saturday morning and thought to myself “if ain’t nobody around today, Ima do brunch around the corner and have bottomless bloodies and mimosas by myself. It’ll be my date for May.”

And so that was my date as I sat at the bar and chatted with folks around me and with the bartender who also happened to be a philosopher.

However, I did just get back from a pseudo-planned solo trip to Cali for this month! It’s a mega-date with myself. I’ve always wanted to take a solo trip, even when I was with The Ex. And now I’m finally doing it. I’ve traveled alone to go meet people before, but this was a trip just for me. I didn’t meet up with anyone. I didn’t set any plans in stone. All I knew upfront was that I wanted to speed by some of the landmarks and focus on just exploring LA and San Fran. That’s right! I’ve always wanted to visit both places. I have preconceived notions about each city, but I had to make up my own mind through my own experience. I was nervous that I might not be as extroverted as usual and I’d be too shy to meet new people. But right off the jump I was already meeting people on the plane and riding the shuttle into the city together. I talk led to locals and dove bar bartenders for recommendations and did some of their suggestions. But in the end I mostly relaxed and walked within a 5 block radius of my room. I stayed in the gayborhood in both LA and SF. And drove up part of the PCH to view the scenic route. I could barely afford anything. And at first I got mad at myself for not exploring more, but I did explore and relaxed and found inner peace and tranquility. I learned a lot about myself which is for me and no one else.

I’m already ready for my next trip!