About chitchatjonny

Daddy is British. Mommy is hillbilly. I grew up in redneck country. I'm gay. I'm practically a divorcee. I'm at a crossroads. I think that covers it.

Living My Fab Life

Well I’m late on this post (as per usual) bc my weekend was jam packed full of fabulosity. My weekends have always been busy, but now that I’m single, I am filling every moment with life‼️ It started with seeing a new musical with old friends out in the burbs. Before the show, we had dinner on a fancy rooftop terrace where we mingled with the Artistic Director and the Director and some cast members.


Then on Saturday I saw The Ex to take care of some bitnass.  Then I went and hung out wit my girl Scary and her baby and best friend from way back when. Then Red Flamingo and I met another friend in Boystown to celebrate his bday in the aftermath of Market Days. We had a ton of impromptu adventures. We found a random photo booth in the middle of the street and took pics. Then we found a random free late nite magic show in an empty storefront. We watched the magician do some cute parlor tricks and some devil shit and left with cute souvenirs. Then we met up with my Sister In Divorce (SID) and his new boyfriend and we drank a bottle in the middle of the shut down street so we could people-watch before going into a club on the north side of the strip to dance. Every club in the heart of Btown was too expensive and I’ve never, in all my years here, seen the lines so long. There were literally three lines wrapped around the block just to get into Progress. Those fools. The club ain’t even that big so you ain’t gettin in tonite, boos‼️ Then a bar fight broke out right next to me on the dance floor. I had to literally push them off of me but couldn’t step back because of the wall of people behind me. SID pulled Red Flamingo back into his arms and pushed his bf behind him to protect them as we heard the thump of a fist in a chest. I was left to defend myself. Hahaha. The one guy flew to the floor. They was both sexy. And then he jumped to his knees like some Arya Stark shit. And then he just got up and walked away.  The battle was over. The next day we continued to celebrate our friend’s bday and did $10 bottomless mimosas/bloodys in our hood. The server was sexy AF but not very attentive. And then we went to Market Days and enjoyed live music and dancing in the street. I missed Ce Ce Peniston perform though. I always miss the concerts I wanna see on the south stage. I missed La Bouche last year. 😒😒 But I had a blast. Then I ran into tons of friends. Then me and Red Flamingo and the bday boy went to my place to watch GoT and Issa…

And then I was alone again.

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afterTHOT: Just Friends

My Cuddle Buddy broke up with me. He chose to take a chance on young love, and who am I to stand in his way? I wish him all the best, especially because he’s been feeling a little lonely and stressed lately. Cuddle Buddy, aka Lettuce, aka The21yo (although I suppose I can no longer call him that since he just turned 22) pursued me online a little while back. And that was definitely flattering considering I’m literally 12 years his senior. We chatted for a long while before actually meeting, and then the first time I went over to his place, we literally just cuddled. Well, until the morning when we had morning sex. That only happened twice, and then we continued to only cuddle. So I knew very early on that this was not going to be a serious relationship. Once again, I’m not even ready for that. But it was nice NSA intimacy. But then it did start to confuse me a little because I’ve never really had intimacy like that with someone I wasn’t interested in. I now understand why people like labels. And I’m glad that when I went over the night of his birthday, we gave ourselves a label and both agreed that we considered ourselves just friends. And then he proceeded to tell me that he’s about to choose between two of his other guys. Perhaps he felt like I needed to hear that out loud, and I appreciate that. I need communication and honesty—something that’s been lacking from my previous relationships. I’m glad we were on the same page, though, yet it still hurt to hear out loud. I think because it made me realize just how alone I really am. Then I realized that I no longer had my Cuddle Buddy. I need that touch from someone, but I’m so scared of it at the same time. I felt comfortable spooning with Lettuce. But oh well. I will survive. But after our conversation, we both laughed about how we’d kill each other if we were dating. Hell, we already got into an argument at the bar a couple weeks ago (I’m sure that’ll be another post sometime). In a lot of ways, he reminds me of The Ex so this is all for the best. 

App This

Dating apps are all the same. First of all, it’s the same people on every app. Second of all, they all treat you the same in every app. My coworkers convinced me to join Tinder because apparently now you can swipe left in groups with your friends. So me and these two little white girls from work decided to create a group together. So of course questions pop into mind: how does it work? Do we all three have to agree on a swipe? Nope. Figured that one out pretty quickly. Will we see individuals from the groups on the individual swipes? Not yet at least. What’s our game plan if we do get a match? Is it easier to Like other groups when they have the same amount of people? How do we tell if they’re looking for men or women? Why are so many of these groups so homogenous? Ugh. Is it bad that I don’t wanna match with an all white group? I mean, I am white. What does our group look like to others? Do we look like we lack diversity? 

Once we started getting matches, it was exciting at first. But then two of us noticed that it seems like the other girl keeps getting all the attention. But she’s great at responding to the messages. It’s also interesting to see her flirtation techniques. Much different than in person when we go to happy hour.  

However, there are just some thirsty dudes out there no matter what their sexuality is. And they say stupid shit. Doesn’t matter the app. Ugh, there weren’t even apps when I was last single. Shit, there weren’t even smart phones. 
On Grindr once, I told this guy that he had a “nice pic” with the waves crashing and the trees in the background. I mean he was cute but not drop dead gorgeous. Then he responded saying “thanks, I can’t say the same.” 

Wait, what? Are you one of those insecure types that doesn’t like his own pic, or are you saying I have a bad pic? So I asked him. Then we proceeded to argue about my eyeliner and it was clear this dude was never taught that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. It was totally unnecessary and unwarranted. It’s clear he has not evolved enough. (Which is prolly what The Scientist thought about me…😔)

So then on Tinder in one of the group messages, this dude said “ChitChatJonny you’re out. Coworker Girl you’re in.” 

To which I responded, “why yes, I’ve been out for years now.”  

Then my other coworker sent a hilarious clap back gif and we pretty much moved on. Like we’re obvi on here as a group. 

We asked a straight duo to bring a friend for me and we think we coulda made that happen, but then I guess we didn’t respond quickly enough to they next message and they deleted us. What‼️Same shit on all these apps. That’s why I deleted Grindr a few weeks ago. For real this time‼️

afterTHOT: The Ex’s New Boo

I had to go over to The Ex’s to tie up some loose ends the other day.  While there, I had a cocktail and caught up with him and his friend.  Then he walked me to the bus stop so that he could vent a little about this friend.  Apparently this friend was betraying his trust and sneaking to read his text messages.  I was totally confused as to why this friend would be all up in his bitnass like that.

Me: There’s no reason for him to be in your personal stuff like that.  (as we continued down the block, I stopped, stepped back, and threw my hands up).  Unless he’s your new boyfriend.

The Ex:  Well he’s not over at my place helping me clean for no reason.  But we’re not there yet.

Okay, now he’s being honest and open.  Okay, this is a good thing, as I don’t want to lose him entirely.  We spent our entire adult lives together thus far.  

Me:  Oh ok.  Well, he still don’t needa be prying like that.  We were together almost 12yrs and I still never invaded your privacy.  Well, not until the very end because you was lyin’.  We not gonna get into that right now, but you know you was lyin’.

Then we both laughed.  He didn’t deny that he was runnin’ around behind my back actin’ brand new.  He opened up to me.  He admitted his betrayal.  

So then on Monday I performed one of my stories from my personal repertoire at a weekly event.  I was booked last minute so I didn’t really invite anyone to come.  Then The Ex called me on the day of the show.  When he found out I was performing, he promised to come.  Well, I gave up on his promises long ago, yet he actually did show up. I was the first to go on, and he literally left right after my performance.  So he was there just to support me.  That’s sweet.  He also convinced TENB (The Ex’s New Boo) to come watch as well, but he was late arriving so he missed my performance and missed The Ex.  So The Ex text me after he’d left to ask me to keep an eye out for him since his phone died and he wasn’t able to let him know that he’d left.  What the fuck!  How did I end up chatting over a drink at the bar with TENB?!  ONLY IN MY LIFE!  But I’m glad The Ex and I can move forward peacefully and with love.

afterTHOT: No Room At This Table

So recently I randomly ran into The Ex out in public for the first time…it was also the first time he met any of my new friends.

Red Flamingo and I were dining at the fine establishment of Micky D’s, and I had my back to the entrance (a very non-mafia thing to do).  Suddenly out of nowhere I notice this hand reach down from behind me and snatch some of my fries.  Now if you knew me, you’d know that French fries are my second favorite food next to chocolate.  I could live off of those two things if I had to!

I look up, and to my amazement it was The Ex.  We’re not in either of the neighborhoods in which we both live, so I didn’t really expect to see him.  Although we both lived in that neighborhood together for years.  So it was a bit nostalgic.  I introduced him and his loser friend to Red Flamingo, who didn’t hear the name and wasn’t quite sure who The Ex was at first.  Then when they went to order their food, Red Flamingo asked me if that’s who he thought it was.  I let him know that it was.

Red Flamingo was like “I had to read your cues because I wasn’t sure if I should’ve scooted over to let them sit with us.”  And I was like “Ida been mad!”  Red Flamingo then joked that that would’ve been the second time he trapped me with an ex!  Ha!

Then The Ex and his friend sat across the restaurant.  It’s the FIRST time The Ex and I have been in the same venue and eaten at separate tables.  It was a bit weird.  All for the best, but it still hurt.  He still breaks my heart when I think about the situation.

Cold and Cordial

So last night went exactly as I was predicting. The Scientist was cordial and said hi and even gave me an awkward hug to greet me. But he didn’t really talk to me nor did he even look my way. He hates me. And I did that. 😔😔 So now I must live with the consequences. He was on his phone all the time and uninterested. I don’t know if that’s how he is in group settings or if he just didn’t wanna be around me. And then he left after the escape room (in which we died 🤣🤣). He was going to meet another friend. Prolly the person he was texting all night. I for real scared him off white boys and also “proved him right” about all of us. 

And just as expected, I’m heartbroken all over again. I will survive, but it’s gonna hurt for a while after reopening the wound. 

Emergency 

Call me psychotic. Call me obsessed. But I had to write an emergency post bc tonite is the nite‼️ Red Flamingo’s bday party is tonite and I’m. Freaking. Out‼️‼️ My friends tell me I’m overreacting and not to worry about The Scientist bc he’s already moved on. Right‼️ That’s part of what hurts so much‼️ The feelings were one way. It tore me up so much I told all my friends and even acquaintances. I really am crazy and spill the T to anyone (my business that is). Either way Ima be hurt tonite. Bc if it goes badly, that’s gonna suck. If it goes well, then Ima be angry that he cut me off without a word for so long and then decided to be nice. Now I’m just repeating what I said last time. But no. Cordial and polite is all that it can be. Beyond that will just not be fair. I’m expecting heartbreak all over again. Especially because I poured my soul out in a letter that prolly came out even worse sounding than what I’d originally said. Fuck‼️ But Ima be strong and confident and cheerful and fabulous and me‼️ Secretly there’s part of me that would love to meet his other friends tonite and have them love me and make him jealous‼️ But I can’t be petty. And I can’t be angry. We are adults and he made an adult decision that was best for his adult life. Not mine. But maybe in collateral it was best for me too. So stop freaking out‼️‼️‼️‼️